my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Please don't give away my fajitas
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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