just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
