Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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