please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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