loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
