We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
