I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
