Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
