he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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