you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
