i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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