my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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