We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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