Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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