he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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