I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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