when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize