Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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