puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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