Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just pee around me
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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