i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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