So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
