He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
