Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
