Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
either way he was missing a nipple.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
