Sry I called you an 8
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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