Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
