We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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