Porn is love you can see.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
