he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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