I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
