if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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