He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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