I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
