You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
