shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
