There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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