I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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