Who did Billy Mays play for?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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