i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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