About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
