I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
