She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm always down for nudity.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
