I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize