i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
