sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm at about main and main street
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
