Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
