spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
