Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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