Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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