Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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