Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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