I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
