there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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