do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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