OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just blew my weed a kiss
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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