So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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