I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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