it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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