Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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