i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
