I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
