Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
